Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Everyone:

So, it's time to come clean on a few things... I'm fat. No, it's not a self-image problem. No, I don't want your sympathy or attention. No, I'm not just saying this to be funny or weird. I'm just, straight-up, fat. Remember a few weeks ago when I wrote about what the "facts" tell you? Well, here they are. 

I'm 5'7" tall. I should weigh somewhere in this range
-"Mr. Markstone, why are you freaking out? How much do you actually weigh?"
-Well, random fictional student, I haven't weighed less than 150 since I exited high school in 2004. I've been an athlete (or at least played sports) all of my life. When I finished playing baseball in college (their choice, not mine) I took 1 day off before finding a weight lifting and jujitsu clan that kept me in shape through college. I've worked out with kettlebells ever since. I work out outside most days. But, if it's raining, I move inside the garage. It's a simple setup, really. 

A few weights, a judo mat, and some stable mats so I don't chip the concrete when the kettlebells shake loose from my tired hands and come crashing down like Thor's mighty hammer. 

All that to say, I weigh 200 pounds. That's right, 5'7" and 200 US pounds. If I were an MMA Fighter, I'd have to fight Chuck Liddell or Rampage Jackson or, Anderson Silva (who would still destroy me with one leg). That's no beuno.

Why am I telling you this? Because I'm freakin pissed off, that's why.

When I walk, it always sounds like I have corduroy pants on. Or like I have little elves in my pockets that are playing with zip-ties. Eventually, my pants have to give in. They can't hold back the flood on thigh that sits inside of them. Eventually, I have a blowout. No, not the hair kind. That's just lame.

Well, it happened yesterday. During lunch I took a walk. As I was walking, I ducked under the rail to say something to a friend and zipppp.
Yep, there it is. That's where my pants said "You sir, are a fat-ass." Best thing about it, I still had to teach, and go to tutoring, then a meeting, then to the store and then to karate (to watch. Fat people don't do karate)... all before I went home... SUPER! 

If I was all muscle, I wouldn't care. Not one bit. If I looked like an MMA fighter (minus the ears and the broken face bones) I'd be fine with it. But, I don't. I look like a middle-aged white guy. I look like a stressed-out, overworked, tired, prematurely balding, short white guy. DAMN!

Now, am I strong and in good shape? I think it's all relative. My 200 pound body ran all over the field during a soccer game. I can military press a hefty amount of weight. I squat a lot.... maybe I'm doing it wrong... I'm not going to stop eating. I'm not going to make myself throw-up after I eat, and I'm sure not going to stop enjoying the occasional vodka. Do you realize that the reason I drink straight vodka is because I don't want the added calories of a mixer? Really, that's the reason... oh, and because now I really, really like it. 

I think, maybe, I just need to clean my diet up, sleep more, stress out less, and maybe, just maybe, I'll get under that 200 pound threshold... 175 would awesome. 

You know what's probably going to happen, though? I'm probably going to destroy more pants.... #breezyafternoon #bigballin' #Illhavethesalad


Modern World History
Quick-write #16:



Objectives:
  • Choose your group for your Revolutionary Video Assignment. 
  • Identify the causes of the of the American Revolution.

AP World History

Quick-write #17:





Objectives:
  • Analyze the impact of trade on Classical Societies.
  • Analyze the Causes and Effects of the Emergence of Transregional Trade routes from 600 BCE to 600 CE.
  • Identify the role family and relationships play(ed) in Chinese culture during the Classical Era. 

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